Swimming Under the Red Sun

Swimming to the finish line

Putting you behind.

Killing the past

To accept the present

To accept the future

That doesn’t include you

I run away to la la land

To cope with pain I don’t understand

I let myself go down the rabbit hole

To hit rock bottom and climb again

Swimming up just to break the surface

Breathing to fill my lungs

And with deep sighing and shallow breathing

I make my way under the red sun.

About my struggle to choose an art medium.

From Pinterest

Hi all, it’s Sunday, so here is today’s post.

In my last post I touched on how I have experimented for the last two years with some mediums and my continuing curiosity on more. Honestly, I am beginning to think I want to try new mediums just to see if I am good at using them straight away.

I truly do want to try oil and gouache at some point. Especially oil. For the texture and appearance I want to achieve in my Renaissance-y style ideas, oil paint is ideal. I am facing a couple problems to using it at the moment.

Firstly, I already own a bunch of other mediums. Watercolor, colored pencils, acrylic, alcohol markers, charcoal, and probably more that I cannot even recall right now.

Second, I live in a tiny apartment with my husband and child, and the fumes or smell of the oil will probably be a bother, or unsafe. Which leads me to an adjacent reason, I have no space to set up a canvas stand or where to dry paintings for extended times.

Lastly, I am not ready. I can barely make a decent sketch. To be a good painter, I have to first be good at drawing.

I am practicing on my drawing, but I am not going to lie, it gets a little discouraging that it looks elementary. By my age I should be a lot better. That ten year gap of not making art really just deleted my ability and skill to sketch at a decent level. But that’s okay, people begin making art at all ages, and ages older than mine too.

I will be consistent this year in making art and we will see what medium becomes my go-to. I will not punish myself for experimenting with them, as long as it brings be joy.

The process is enjoyable, and that is why we create anyway.

Why I Decided to Start an Art Blog.

Artist: Linda Jacobus

Short answer: to sooth my perfectionism.
Between eating disorders, stress, and high standards for myself, it became kind of much. I am rather creative, but my mentality has had me quit art for months and years at a time.

I enjoy art and making it and want to help myself enjoy the process, instead of seeing only the end result and getting frustrated when I am not the best straight off the bat.
It’s hard to say when I got like this or to this point, but I really have to let go.


Over the last two to three years I have played with acrylic paint, pouring, impressionism, watercolor, beadwork, jewelry making, knitting, crochet, collage, clay, sculpting, sketching, and the list can go on and on.

I have many creative interests, including fashion and interior design. My problem has been that if I am not impressed with myself or am not good at something to start, I kind of quit and leave it alone and then resent myself for now being able to do it.

It sucks, cause I really like painting, watching people paint, and looking at art too.
Something that stumps me further is that all these artists online have one specific style, color palette, texture, etc.

I am a total amateur, but for some reaon I insist on choosing my permanent style and medium straigh t off the bat. Writing that down sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.

Whether my art is good or not is subjective and I have to just enjoy the process like I used to as a kid.
It’s for me. For my vision. As meditation. For the joy.

Jan 4

Hey all, I wrote a post a couple days ago and will upload on or by Monday.

I’ve been playing animal crossing and growing soft and romantic art and fashion on Pinterest. Will be sharing some of my favorites on ig @cherieoriginal.

I added a bunch of videos on renaissance art and history to my YouTube ‘watch later’ playlist.

In my research (Pinterest search) I noticed how different the art style, proportion, and technique was from the Middle Ages to the Renaissance. It almost seems ridiculous that so much change happened like that. Will definitely have to do some more digging in that area.